Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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