its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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