I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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