i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
