next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
