i permit you to call me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
