no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
