What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
