Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
