fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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