batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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