All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
