What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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