I think i peed on brittanys purse
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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