She's JV to your varsity
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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