just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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