How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
