i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
