So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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