Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
