I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
