Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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