porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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