check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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