I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
