i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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