Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
