I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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