I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
