If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
