Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i think i have two assholes
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
