Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
