dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
