when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
