Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
