Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
