im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
