i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
