i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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