Heybabeimwearingurpanties
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Randomize
