The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
