He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
