Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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