I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
