Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
