Duck Duck Cougar?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
