Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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