I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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