god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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