yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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