You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
