I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
