you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
