So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
